Heartfelt Wakeup Call
The Morning That Changed Everything
On the morning of Wednesday, January 15, 2025, exactly one week before my 54th birthday, I woke up with a sharp, throbbing pain in my left shoulder. The pain radiated from the tip of my shoulder to my neck and even to my ear. It wasn’t just uncomfortable—it was loud, constant, and impossible to ignore. As I got out of bed and followed my normal routine of letting the dogs out, I felt a growing sense of unease. Something about this pain felt different. I noticed I was winded and out of breath, which was unusual for me.
I fed the dogs and made my coffee, then sat down with my gratitude journal, a daily ritual that usually grounds me. But the pain refused to let me focus. It felt relentless, demanding my attention. I pride myself on having a high pain tolerance, often brushing off what might alarm others, but this time, even my stubbornness couldn’t override the nagging thought: This isn’t normal.
Hoping movement might help, I stepped onto my rebounder, a recent addition to my routine that I’d been enjoying. Within minutes, I had to stop—something felt off. I decided a warm shower might help ease the tension in my muscles.
Listening to My Intuition
As I stood in the shower, lathering my hair, a quiet but insistent voice in my head said, “Maybe this is a heart attack.” My heart sank. For context, I was born with two holes in my heart and underwent open-heart surgery at two and a half years old. The doctors doubted I’d survive the surgery or live past ten years old. Those words—“likely won’t live past ten”—have echoed in my mind my entire life. Sometimes I feel like I’m living on borrowed time, and the uncertainty of how long my heart will keep going weighs on me.
By the time I got out of the shower, I was winded again and had to sit down. I couldn’t ignore the pattern: letting the dogs out, break; making coffee, break; showering, break. Each small activity left me drained. I had an hour before my first client, so I did my best to pull myself together. One of the things I love most about my work is that when I’m with clients, I can focus entirely on them, offering a temporary escape from my own worries.
A Growing Concern
Throughout the morning, I massaged my shoulder and took Advil, hoping to ease the discomfort. By noon, the pain had worsened, and breathing had become painful. It was no longer something I could brush aside. During a break at 1:00 PM, I called my primary care doctor’s office. When I described my symptoms to Brittney, the nurse, she urged me to go to the ER immediately. I refused. Like many, my confidence in the medical system has been shaken in recent years. Unless it’s life-or-death, the ER is a last resort for me.
Brittney managed to get me an appointment with my doctor that afternoon. Grateful for her flexibility, I rescheduled my last client and headed to the office. On the drive there, I realized I hadn’t turned on any music—something I always do. I was so focused on simply getting there, I hadn’t noticed the silence until I pulled into the parking lot.
Facing the Fear
When Brittney brought me back to the exam room, I shared what had been happening. I also opened up about the stress I’d been carrying: months of lingering illness from a sinus infection, the emotional fallout from my mom’s recent suicide attempt at age 79, and the strain it had placed on my family. I’d been avoiding processing these events, retreating emotionally without even realizing it.
After running an EKG and taking my vital signs, my doctor entered the room with a grave expression. “I think you’re having an acute heart attack,” he said. “We need to get you to the ER.” His words barely registered before five paramedics crowded into the small exam room. I was in shock. They lifted me onto a gurney—I wasn’t even allowed to stand.
As the ambulance sped to the hospital, sirens blaring, I felt surreal disbelief. I asked the paramedics if the sirens were really necessary. One of them, struggling to start an IV on his third attempt, looked at me and said, “Yes.”
Reflections in the Ambulance
In that moment, all I could think about was my kids. I wanted them to know how much I love them, how sorry I am for my parenting mistakes, and how proud I am of them. If this was the end, I wasn’t ready. There is so much more I want to do, see, and give in this life. I focused on taking calm, slow breaths to center myself.
A Diagnosis and a Wake-Up Call
At the ER, the staff’s compassion and professionalism reassured me. After a series of tests—X-rays, a CT scan with contrast, labs, and more EKGs—the doctor diagnosed me with pericarditis, an inflammation of the sac around the heart. While not a heart attack, it’s a painful condition that can mimic one. Treatment involved steroids and NSAIDs. I was discharged after nearly eight hours, still in pain but relieved to have an answer.
A Renewed Perspective
The experience left me shaken but deeply grateful. Facing the possibility of death has a way of clarifying what truly matters. For me, it’s about living fully, sharing my gifts, and embracing my purpose. Life is fragile, and our time here is precious.
Most days, I take my health for granted. I’m rarely sick, I live peacefully, and I find joy in meaningful relationships and nature. But this scare reminded me to honor the wisdom of my body and my intuition. It also reignited my commitment to living with intention.
Moving Forward
2025 is a year of joy and expansion for me. I’m ready to step into the healer I’ve always been, sharing my lessons and wisdom to help others. I didn’t come here to play small. I came to live fully, freely, and authentically. My work here isn’t done—and for that, I am deeply grateful.
Final Thoughts
If my story resonates with you, I invite you to reflect on your own life and health. Are there areas where you’ve been ignoring the signs your body or intuition is giving you? Remember, you are your own best advocate.
For more on heart health, mental well-being, or living with intention, explore the resources on my site. I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. Together, we can inspire one another to live with greater awareness and purpose.